Something Better Be Burning Down

You know that old saying “You Can’t Fix Stupid” here is a perfect example:

Me: Hello

Tenant: Hi, my hair dryer is not working

Me: ok…

Tenant: and the lights aren’t working in my bathroom

Me: you must have blown a fuse I’ll send maintenance over as soon as possible

Tenant: Well, the lights in the rest of the apartment aren’t working either matter of fact the lights in the parking lot are not working either. This is a real inconvenience; I have to get ready for work

Me: …. Did you just say that the lights in the parking lot aren’t working?

Tenant: (sounding annoyed) yes

Me: Do me a favor and look around at the other houses around you. Do they have lights on?

Tenant: ah… No

Me: Did you ever stop and think that your neighborhood doesn’t have power?


Me: Listen to me very carefully if you have no cable do you call the cable company?

Tenant: yes…

Me: And if you don’t have internet who do you call?

Tenant: the internet company

Me: ok… so why would you call me if you have no electricity?

Tenant: Well I couldn’t use my hair dryer

(The tone of my voice has gone from very calm to if I could climb through this phone and eat you I would)

Me: Listen to me very carefully if you EVER call me again before 8am something better be burning down – CLICK


How Did I Get Here & Why Am I Not Wearing A Helmet?

Let me start off by saying that I did not choose to become a property manager, Property management chose me (kind of like a stray cat chooses an owner you don’t really want the cat but, the damn thing is just so persistent that you just go ahead and let it in)

A little over 4 years ago a very good friend/ co-worker was in a terrible accident he thankfully got better and went back to being his miserable old self but, strangely became a little smarter and, by smarter I mean he refused to go back to being a property manager (head injuries work in mysterious ways).

Little did I know that my life and drinking habits were about to change forever